


Natasha's Secret

by sadbabyosborn (arka_r)



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Food Sex, M/M, Nutella, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:31:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/sadbabyosborn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once, there was a 220 grams of Nutella jar in the kitchen’s counter. No matter what happened, even when another Nutella jars were emptied, Natasha would never, ever, touch that one jar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natasha's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Behold! I have discovered Nutella and this is what I wrote in my sugar-high state of bliss.

Once, there was a 220 grams of Nutella jar in the kitchen’s counter.

The Nutella jar looked seemingly innocent, unsuspicious, laying unsuspectingly in the counter just like another Nutella jar. It had no difference with another Nutella jars available in the tower, except that this one was half-eaten and would be expired next month.

But no matter what happened, even when another Nutella jars were emptied, Natasha would never, _ever_ , touch that one jar.

“It’s not expired yet”, Clint said one morning, with his mouth full of Nutella-coated toasts while flipping the jar, reading at the expiration date. But Natasha simply passed him and grabbed another jar of Nutella for her toast, shoving Thor’s massive bulk from the toaster and occupy it for her own using. Clint simply stared at Natasha, then at Thor, who was staring back.

Both men shrugged.

No one knew her reason, if there any, but Natasha knew best.

It was all started when Loki discovered Nutella.

There was a moment where Fury didn’t allow Loki to go down to the scene helping the Avengers after his daddy in the sky dumped him all the way back to the very planet he tried to subjugate. Fury had trust issues after all.

It was quite okay, actually, because Loki didn’t mind and was happy playing science with Tony and Bruce. But the demigod had always been telling them he was bored staying alone in the tower when the Avengers were out for mission, only accompanied by Jarvis and DUM-E and some classic Disney movies. So. The team thought he was taking a little bit stroll and wasn’t all surprised when they went back after a particular mission only to find the demigod sitting on a couch clutching a Nutella jar like his life depended on it.

Correction, they were quite surprised only with the Nutella part. Why Nutella?

It was pretty cute image, if you would say.

Loki ate the Nutella straight from the jar, without toasts or anything—instead poking his finger into the jar and licking it clean, and Clint left them be shouting sentences sounded like alien contamination or something. Bruce commented something about hygiene, but since it was a demigod, hygiene wasn’t an issue.

So far from what Natasha collected, Thor and Tony had a raging boner that night, and came for breakfast sharing the same beet-red face and abnormally silent.

No one commented because while no one made comment about a God of Thunder holding smite-ye-all hammer, Tony was also capable to kick their sorry asses into the kingdom come if he determined to.

So, since then, Nutella would be in the top of their shopping list, along with Poptarts, coffee, wine, and herbal tea.

Then, it went downhill.

Loki could eat five kilograms Nutella per day. It was worse, _far_ worse, than Thor and five boxes of Poptarts per day or Tony and five shots of scotch per day. While the Asgardian (or Jotun, they later found out) had higher metabolism than mere human, yes even than Steve, Bruce had been worrying him into diet because—as Clint was kindly wording it—it was scary as fuck to have a sugar high God of Mischief and Lies and Chaos in close proximity to you.

Clint had a pig tail curling from his ass (seriously, who let Loki read Harry Potter?—“TONY!” they shouted in unison) and the Empire State Building had YOLO written with non-erasable ink which glowed in the dark like Vegas lights. Fortunately, both were only stayed for one week because then Fury using his Daddy Odin card like a mofo he was.

And so, Loki was highly restricted from Nutella. He could only eat one, or two on very special occasion, 220 grams of Nutella jar. It was a pale comparison to what he used to have before.

He wasn’t happy, of course, but everyone was kind enough to help him in his Nutella diet (read: to remove every single Nutella jars from Loki’s line of sight). Steve was the one to approach him with real help: teach him how to bake muffins and cupcakes in weekends.

In two weeks, they were having cupcakes party in the tower.

Loki’s cupcake wasn’t that good, to be honest (read: it was _horrible_ , but no one dared to mention it especially when Thor was around), but he was good at putting icings. He made each Avengers their own cupcakes decorated with fondant imitation of their weapons on it. Even Clint held his personalized cupcake dearly.

So far that Natasha knew, Tony was the second after Steve.

(Thor’s didn’t count, because Loki was certainly, utterly, and extremely showing his disgust for Thor’s way in helping him in his diet: Asgardian’s sport.)

It was purely accidental, when Natasha stumbled upon it. She made a coffee run at the time, 3 A.M. in the morning, when it displayed way too clearly before her eyes. Loki laid spread on the kitchen’s countertop, without a single thread covering his body, with Nutela spread over… some certain sensitive flesh. Tony stood next to him, holding a jar of Nutella, and was proceeding to ‘eat’ Loki like he was the most delicious toast in the world. Both shared the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.

“Uh…” Tony started, when they realized Natasha was watching. “We can explain?”

She didn’t need explanations. So she grabbed her coffee and left them be. She didn’t tattle, she didn’t tease, and she just let them be with their little affair. Because it turned out that Tony’s way of helping Loki for his Nutella-diet was more effective than Steve’s.

However, since then, she swore she would never eat that particular Nutella jar. Or using the kitchen’s countertop for eating. Or somewhere else in the common area.

It was one of Natasha’s secrets she would carry to her grave.


End file.
